Friday, 3 October 2014

The Artist's Way - Week 1


The first week of The Artist's Way course was about Recovering a Sense of Safety.

Despite my earnest (initial) commitment, I was still fairly skeptical about it all. That's just me though; I'm cynical to a fault about most things. You can see as much from this extract of my morning pages:

"So apparently I have to disentangle all the damaging, negative, unhelpful and malicious things that've been said to me. Why? Aren't you supposed to be building/growing a thick skin, thus the whole acceptance of criticism is part and parcel? It could very well be, but not if it crushes you. Not if it paralyses you, although it would be too easy to blame my reaction on other people and say “that creative writing course paralyzed me, so it did” when in reality I'm responsible for when and how I write and who can paralyze me or not. The statement shouldn't be that “they paralyzed me” but “I let them paralyze me”.

I react positively to hurtful comments for a little while. I get a burst of defiance and a productivity spike but it's not enough. That's because I'm using the wrong things to propel me and fuel my writing.


I have to admit, I found the morning pages difficult. I've written many a morning page in my time, and am fully aware of the benefits of it, but it didn't feel like my usual trippy nonsense. It felt more like the unclogging of accumulated whiney bile. I was quietly hopeful it would improve over the coming weeks.

Week 1 was about uncovering my Core Negative Beliefs. In my notebook, I wrote "I can't be a successful, prolific, creative artist because..." then let it rip.

It wasn't pretty.

Among my fears:
  • I would undoubtedly descend into madness
  • I had no decent, unique ideas
  • I would die an unfulfilled writer
  • I even started berating myself for not having material aspirations... yeah I don't know where that one came from either.
One task was to write this next sentence ten times, followed by whatever sprung to mind immediately upon writing it:

I, Catherine Noble, am a brilliant and prolific writer.

I tell ye, if you're ever struggling to figure out where your negativity stems from, DO THIS EXERCISE.

Don't get me wrong, the usual suspects were there: nasty, personal attacks and the opinions of pretentious arsehole writers sometimes known to pollute my beloved Radio 4 podcasts, but I was astonished to hear the words of people who matter most to me, or who I look up to in the big ol' writersphere. Even my own (well-meaning) advice to other writers cropped up, to my intense shame.

I had to create my own personal affirmations. I'm not a fan of the Law of Attraction theory, but I do appreciate gratitude and positive thinking. Some of my affirmations felt more resonant than others depending on my mood when I read them. This is why it's good for me to have a varied list. Reading them is like a lovely soothing balm. I would recommend it, if you're a bitter lemon like myself.


Apparently I'm what Julia Cameron would call a 'shadow artist': someone who doesn't have the balls to be a fully fledged, uninhibited artist, so surrounds themselves with creative types, joins the writing groups, attends the writerly events, in the hope they'll be inspired to create.

Does that sound familiar to you, too?

This was my favourite quote in The Artist's Way so far. "Very often audacity, not talent, makes one person an artist and another a shadow artist".

So, my main priority for Week 1 was get some gall. Risk affrontery. Take myself seriously, but not too seriously...

Every week, you're supposed to take yourself on an Artist Date. For this, I set aside a couple of hours to work on my Vision Board. I do one every year; it's always a surprise to see how much my goals and attitudes change over time. Pinterest is a fantastic way to get inspired for creating a vision board, but be warned: it's not good for the old discipline. It's a cruel temptress.

And that concludes Week 1. Have you participated in the Artist's Way? I'd love to hear your experiences.

Take care
Catherine x 
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Monday, 29 September 2014

Take heart

This blog post was supposed to be about how I was quitting the Artist's Way. About how it had all started off wonderfully, then stalled around the 4 week mark when I became completely distracted by the Scottish Independence Referendum. 


The subsequent heartache of my country rejecting its own independence made it very, very difficult for me to partake in self-indulgent projects such as rediscovering my inner artist.

I've allowed myself a few week's reprieve from the Artist's Way to accommodate this historical event in our lifetime, but when I think about getting back into it, it feels incredibly self-absorbed. 

The whole concept of Artist Dates and Spiritual Measurement seems utterly repulsive, when all I see around me are people drying their eyes, regrouping, and filling the likes of George Square with food donations for those who need it - many who have been sorely failed. There is still so much to be done; who am I to indulge myself?

(Photo taken from Glasgow's Needy facebook page)

In the second week of the Artist's Way, I was inspired to apply for an Open University degree course in Design & Innovation. It starts this Saturday. It's going to require an extra 20 hours of my week, which seems ridiculous when factoring in the Artist's Way, work (still getting my head around the new role) and writing.

But in the spirit of my fellow voters for Scottish Independence, I believe in a better existence, and I am going to continue the conversation. With Scotland and with myself. I'm going to keep volunteering at the food bank, hold every promise to account, re-engage with the Artist's Way, get stuck into my studies and keep on writing the novel. If anything, the Morning Pages will seek to give some clarity in an increasingly senseless world.


Hope you're all well.
Catherine x
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Thursday, 14 August 2014

The Artist's Way - A Diary

What do you do when you're powering through your novel edits, then lose the will to write? It's amazing how swiftly a day's reprieve can turn into a week then, before you know it, it's been months since you last looked at your novel and you can't bring yourself to open the document.

My loss of momentum began innocuously enough; blighted by a sinus infection, I took the opportunity to rest and recover. I recovered physically (thanks for asking), but not creatively.

I made the decision to undertake Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way program – a 12 week course in creative recovery. I first heard about it when my colleague, writer and playwright Kris Haddow, diarised his own journey a few years back. It looked mighty intriguing, but it's only recently I felt the time was right for me to do it.

Listen, I know what you're thinking.

Ach, just bloody get on with it. Stop yer nonsense and just get it done. You'd be as well spending the time working on the novel instead of trying to “free your creativity”. 

But I cannae.

I bound myself in stupid expectations and ridiculous criteria until nothing about my writing remotely resembled me. In my quest to learn how to Write Well, I learned how to write like other people, even if their style wasn't my cup of tea. 

That is not what I want. 

That is bollocks.

So hear ye, hear ye, I'm getting myself back on the page.


I shall update thee as and when.

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Monday, 28 July 2014

Dae ye mind that summer in 2014?

It's been quiet on the writing front the last couple of months.

To say I've lost my momentum would be a complete understatement. I know I'll have to pull up my wee writer socks soon and, truth be told, I'm gasping to get back into a routine. But I regret nothing. 

I've been enjoying the good weather.



I've had a couple of writerly fixes.




I've been getting oot and aboot.




I started a new job.


Same company, different role (now in digital marketing). My new colleagues left this on my desk on my first day...


I decided to take up running.


My first 5k.


 My 2nd 5k.


I've been reading more.




I finally got a fancy camera, and I have no idea how to use it.


It was Colin & I's 4 year anniversary.


We celebrated by going to T in The Park, where we originally got together.


I'm still adding to my "photos from the squinty bridge" collection.


And, of course, I've been watching the Commonwealth Games, being frequently overcome with utterly irrational pride. Have you been intae it?


How have you all been getting on? Well, I hope! Here's to a productive and lovely August for ye. *raises mocktail glass* chin chin.

Catherine x


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Tuesday, 10 June 2014

A Beautiful, Terrible Tempest


Thank God there were no children on the plane.
 
The pastel shaded stewardess looked bored as she double pointed, scooped the air and feigned a blow into her lifeless jacket. I bet she couldn't wait for her shift to end.

Read the rest of my short story, A Beautiful, Terrible Tempest, on Postcard Shorts by clicking here!

Catherine x

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Monday, 12 May 2014

The clown was suicidal


I'm delighted to announce that my short story Merry Andrew has been published in the Eunoia Review.

You can find it by clicking here. I'd love to know what you think of it.

Take care
Catherine x ◦
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Tuesday, 29 April 2014

Life in Pictures April 2014


Have you all had a good April? Many Easter eggs did ye get?

I had six days off for the Easter holidays, and I done nothing. I'm not even sorry... it was bloody fantastic.

Some of my favourite things this month...


This hilarious comedy play, Party Suzie. It's back in May, go see it!


This was the only event I attended at this year's Aye Write festival. I'm sufficiently pleased with my lot: Bernard MacLaverty is a fantastic writer and speaker, and I've just finished breaking my heart to his novel Cal (a must-read).


One of my writing group friends demanded I read The Panopticon, by Jenni Fagan, and I'm so glad I did. Belter of a story! I devoured this book in two days, made all the better with the sun in my garden!


Looking after my 5 week old godson, Corey. Overnight, no less! He was the perfect angel, and I didn't want to give him back. He's sooo teeny! :')


The weather is finally starting to improve... long may it continue!


More food blog shenanigans, if you're intae yer grub. Guess who figured out how to make collages?


That's plenty for now. I hope April was good to you all. Lets hope May gives you even more of what you love.

Take care
Catherine x ◦
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